What’s the reason my family hates me? Does my family truly hate me? All these are the possible questions that could rattle your brain when you start suspecting that your relationship with your relatives has changed.
Do you know why this is sometimes funny? Most people don’t understand why the people who are supposed to have their backs hate them.
Showing hatred towards someone won’t add any meaning to their life. Instead, it might mess with the person’s emotions and destroy his or her life. But you can’t control other people’s feelings or change how they feel about you when you don’t know their reason. Can you do that? No!
So, if your family decides to hate you, at least you have a right to know why. But if they have refused to speak up, these tips will help you figure out the reason.
Go through them carefully and remember where the problem between you and your family started.
1. They Think You’re Financially Buoyant But Don’t Want To Help Others:
You drive a nice car, live in a comfortable apartment, and have a wife and kids. All these make your family members believe you’re rich. In their minds, you’re the family’s own Bill Gate. And to some extent, you have been supportive.
Whenever a family member has a financial problem, you’re the first person they contact. It has been the norm for your family members. They now request financial assistance without even asking how you’re faring.
The day you stop acting like the family’s automated teller machine (ATM), you seize to be a good person. Your family may start seeing you as close-fisted.
Does this explain what you have been passing through in the hands of your family? Did the financial support seize? If it did, then it’s the reason your family hates you. They feel you have the finances but don’t want to help.
Now, they have given you a strange name, “the close-fisted brother/sister.” They have all forgotten the financial assistance you rendered in the past. All they see is a brother or sister who doesn’t want to help the family.
Your family has forgotten that your immediate financial responsibility has changed. You now have a wife and kids and must cater to their needs.
A Handy Tip: If the reason your family hates you is that you stopped offering financial support like you used to, talk to them about your current predicament. They need to understand your financial status and responsibility.
Don’t talk to everyone in the family about your dilemma. It will only make matters worse than it already is. Talk to someone that’s highly influential in the family and listens to you. It could be a family member or close family friends. Sometimes, a clergyman or woman can help. People respect their religious leaders so much.
2. They Think You’re Self-Centered:
Now let’s be frank. When was the last time you phoned your siblings or parents? Perhaps, you did so during Christmas. Other days, you’re busy working or doing other things.
If you don’t call or visit your siblings or parents occasionally, how do you intend to build a robust relationship with them? It would not be easy. The fact that you don’t contact your family members makes them feel like you only care about yourself. And their claim is justifiable if you usually contact them only when you have a problem and need their help.
Claiming the reason you don’t call is that you have been busy is a baseless claim. No matter how busy you are, you’ll have one or two minutes to spare. You can even schedule your calls. Try calling one family member a day. This way, no one will accuse being self-centered.
3. You No Longer Attend Family Gatherings:
Years ago, you were always the first to arrive at every family picnic. It was always a great bonding time for the family members. But you no longer attend or talk about picnics or family meetings, and your relatives are worried. They think you no longer care.
It’s alright to miss a couple of meetings. But if you do it often, then that’s not right. You’re giving your family members room to believe that you no longer put them first as you used to and that hurts deeply.
Such gatherings allow each family member to bond and straighten things out with each other. If you aren’t there, others might say negative things behind your back. And since you’re not there, you won’t be able to defend yourself.
Most of your family members might not inform you of the bad things said about you. They may keep it to themselves and show hatred towards you.
So start attending family gatherings. But if you have other vital meetings on that same day, try to reschedule them. If you can’t, inform a prominent family member about your predicament. Maybe he or she might explain to others the reason you were absent.
4. Your Parents Give You Special Treatment:
Do you feel like your parents love you more than they love your other siblings? If yes, then that could be the reason your siblings hate you so much. They are jealous of you. But that jealously has turned to hatred.
People of the Christian faith can relate to this kind of scenario. In the Bible, Joseph’s brothers hated him because his father loved and treated him better. The hatred caused them to gang up against Joseph and sold him as a slave.
5. You’re The Black Sheep Of The Family:
If you’re from a religious home, you’ll understand how important it is for each family member to be well-behaved. Your parents want to prove they can raise the best kids in the world. They want all their children to be different and be a role model to the other children in the family and neighborhood.
This might be the case if you live in a rough neighborhood full of bad gangs and corrupt kids. If you go against your parents and keep bad friends, your family might start to treat you like an outcast.
So examine yourself very well. And ask yourself this question; am I keeping the right friends? Is my life moving in the best direction? Is my family angry with me because of the friends I keep? Does my family hate me because of the way I live my life?
If you aren’t living a good life, your family will hate you. The reason is that they know the end thereof is destruction. And they don’t want to be dragged down the mud when you go down.
So, how can you win back your family’s love and trust? It’s simple. Start living right. Keep friends that add value to your life. And do things that make you reputable. It might take time for your family to trust and love you like they once did. But that shouldn’t stop you from being a good person.
6. You’re Considered Disrespectful:
Do you disrespect your older siblings, parents, and uncles? Do you disrespect the neighbors or other family members? If yes, then that could be the reason your family hates you. Such hatred is always deep. And it’s not something one develops in a single day.
You don’t like running an errand for your older siblings, let alone your parents. You act pompous and talk down on anyone that dares to confront you.
Another reason your family hates you is that you’re abusive. You’re quick to insult whoever challenges you without minding if that person is older than you.
Such behaviors have made your family distance themselves from you. Nobody enjoys being insulted. So they feel by coming close, you could hurt their feelings.
7. Your Single Mum Thinks You Ruined Her Life:
Most single parents that had a child out of wedlock pass through a lot in life. Some had to drop out of school and do odd jobs to cater for their kid and themselves.
The pain, psychological and emotional trauma, stress, and struggles single parents face now and then can cause them to react angrily towards their children.
So, if your mum is a single parent, chances are she hates you because she thinks giving birth to you ruined her life. She feels your birth wasted many of her youthful years, and now she’s regretting it.
You can’t blame your mum for thinking this way; neither should your mum do the same to you. You didn’t beg to come to this life. It was her choice to give birth to you.
Children don’t get to choose their family. It’s the other way round. So your mum has no reason to be angry at you.
Why does my family hate me? Have you been asking yourself this question lately? Then you’re not alone. Many people are suffering the same thing at the hands of the people they call family. Your family is supposed to be there for you through thick and thin. They are supposed to protect and support you throughout the way. But now, they never want to set their eyes on you.
Why? The truth is, the reasons are numerous. We have managed to highlight some possible reasons your family hates you. Unfortunately, many of them won’t be bold enough to pour out their feelings to you. You have to look inward and remember the things you did that possibly angered them. Then work hard to amend them.